Way to get to the point, me!
My ex-boyfriend, Mr. Obvious, would be proud of me for that opener.
I actually heard from him recently. He remembered my birthday, which was nice. I don't. think he was over-delighted as my portrayal of him on this blog. But I did actually mean it fondly, not meanly.
So I raised the level of Topamax from mouse-sized to cat-sized last weekend, and on day #1 of the new dosage, I had a very disturbing experience in which had a fit, during which I completely lost the ability to speak. The words were in my head, but they could not make the journey out of my mouth. They got stuck in my throat somewhere. I was trying to tell Himself I needed help up the stairs, but all I could do was point helplessly with my one good arm, and hope he would figure it out. He did. Yeah. not much fun for either of us, that.
It is hard to think the Topamax was NOT responsible, even though 'loss of speech" is not listed on the side effects. I have experienced many weird and wacky medication side effects which were so not listed -doesn't mean they didn't happen to me.
But I see it as one of my last hope drugs so I am pushing on. I had rather a lot of fits last week. way more than usual. Then yesterday I broke me diet and last night and today I was a REAL mess. Fits going to bed. Fits waking up... Fits all over the fooking place. So yes. Topamax may have to go. Bloody shame it is a holiday weekend. I can't really call #25 abou tthis. Well I can, but he is probably away and I will get some dolt who is covering. It is the July 4th weekend and all the new interns have just started on July 1. It is the worst possible time to need medical help in America, people.
But here's the weird thing: The side effects listed for Topamax are mostly things I already have: Tingling, dizziness, fatigue, "stupidity" (my term -not the PC version), coordination and confusion. So if I take the drug and I have all these things, does this mean they are side effects? Or does it mean that the drug isn't at a high enough level in my system yet? And if I need to take more, how do I know that? Is a Topamax tingle different than my regular tingle? Does Topamax have a different brand of confusion? And how will I tell if I'm confused?
Or will the fits just stop? (Please GOD say yes!)
So I am hoping against hope -and probably logic at this point- that I just need to raise the dosage and it will work. I'm just not sure how much I can hope when having seizures six, seven times a day...
Time for a new plan?
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