I have a childhood memory of someone -probably an aunt, telling people "I'm fat, but I'm happy". It is an expression that stuck with me, because it seems so contrary to all of the perceptions and indeed, most of the published data on obesity.
But my aunt's words have been resonating in my brain a lot recently, because:
- I have gained weight.
- I have been feeling better; having fewer seizures and other neuro symptoms. Therefore, I have been "happier".
Now, the above two facts may not be related. They could be completely coincidental. However, I don't think they are. I have written numerous times that I KNOW my fits are related to food and eating. I was wondering if maybe when my body is in "fat storing" mode, rather than "fat burning" mode; if there is something; -some chemical reaction, which does or does not occur that might trigger a seizure event?
It is an interesting question.
Unfortunately, I am not sure how to answer it: How does one test for that stuff? To whom would I turn? I am stuck in the old space, where I will ask an endocrinologist, only to be told to see neurologist, and if I ask the neurologist, he will tell me to see an endocrinologist.
And there is the other dilemma. Unlike my aunt, who may or may not have been lying: I am NOT happy to be fat. I am the heaviest I have been since pregnant with my second child, and I hate it. But the fear is there: if I go back to low carb: -the only way I can successfully reduce and maintain my weight: will the fits return in earnest?
Actually, scratch that. I know they WILL return. There is not shadow of doubt in my mind. It will just be a question of when will they return? And then what?
They never end.