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September 28, 2009

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Carmina Kearney

Paula as always a great artical. As a mother waiting for a diagnosis for my child, autism or asperigous sydrome have been given as possibilitys, you've given me a lot to think about. If he is diagnosed with one of the above it would explain a lot about him. Keep them coming, please, I get a lot from your articals. Stay strong.

Suwandi

I think you are very inspired by the shoes. thanxx.. 4 ur good article..

queen-slug

As for trying to relate to being in another's shoes I think the easiest way to do it is not to try to & do it in the standard way, but rather to imagine everyone else was different. For the transgender issue, instead of thinking what if on the inside you were male think if on the outside you had, say for example, your husband's body but still felt the exact same way. Or imagine the world was made up of Auties & you were one of the few NTs.

Being anything but "normal" is so very hard & while "normal" people say they are compassionate it often turns out they are only compassionate about others who are "normal" as well.

fridawrites

Thank you--great post.

One Sick Mother

Carmina,
Thanks for your comments. I wish you the best of luck with the diagnosis. I know it is a very tough thing to go through, although in my experience, the waiting was the hardest part. Once we officially knew what we were dealing with, a lot of doors opened and we were able to move on and get more done.

Swandi,
Nice way to get your link in there. I am keeping this one, because I am a sucker for shoes.


Q-S,
You know, I really tried. I could picture myself in his body, and imagined being bigger and stronger (and not dislocaty and exhausted all the time). And I liked the idea of having a willy for a bit -gotta say I always wondered what one of those felt like to own.

However I couldn't get into the "head" aspect of things: not the thought processes, or understanding how I would interact with the world in that body and how it would interact with me.

"...while "normal" people say they are compassionate it often turns out they are only compassionate about others who are "normal" as well."

OK in just one sentence, you just nailed exactly what it took me almost 1,000 words to fail to convey. ;)

OSM

One Sick Mother

Frida,

Thanks :)

Elizabeth

I enjoyed this post. I think the acknowledgement that total understanding of a condition is important. I agree about that. But I also think that it is only the start of education. These are medical conditions, including the female gender in the male body (brain chemistry and brain journals have noted this as a chromosomal marker in mammals), one which has a medical protocol (more than many conditioins). Can I understand what it would be like to 'know' I am male? No. Can I 'get' 1% or 4% of a life where the bathroom mirror is where you go, "Oh right, I'm female" since your dreams or waking identity is that of male. Yes, since with things like hair loss and skin issues, I have a self image that I try to reconsile with the bathroom mirror. Do I 'get it', no, but it is a start, and I can listen.

The issue I find with the deaf dancer is that her dancing was secondary to how she imputed her information. BECAUSE she did not process the information by which she danced, THAT became the focus, not the alleged point of the show.

I work hard to put myself into others heads as part of the Postcard Project, whether sight impaired, hearing impaired, Autistic Spectrum, Color Blind, or Dyslexic, how do I create an experience which ends up with the same result? Smell instead of visual? Tactile? No, I don't know what the detailed frustrations are, but I wish I did.

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