And Waiting...

Remember that old Diana Ross song, "I'm still waiting"?  Well, that has been going through my head recently, despite the fact that I hate it.  Now don't get me wrong, it is a lovely song and all. You know the story, right?  A little girl has a crush on an older neighborhood kid and he tells her not to bother. And then he moves away and tells her

"Little girl
Please don't wait for me
Wait patiently for love.
Someday will surely come.."

And of course she doesn't listen.  She waits for him. And as far as I know, she is waiting still.

Because - and I realized this years later, -after I grew a clue. He's GAY!  She can wait until Hell freezes over, gets hot again and then freezes AGAIN, and he's STILL not going to be interested.

...and that's why I hate that song. 

So I heard back from #30 about the whole brain scan thingy. It is a study, won't cost me a bean for the scans (which is good because Insurance won't cover), and maybe some of the other stuff is covered (even better).  However, they are waiting for Board approval or somesuch red tape so I need to hang out some more until that comes through. #30 was very apologetic about the waiting, which was nice of him. However, I don't like hanging around when I could be getting answers.  So we had a conversation which went something like this:

Me: "You know, I'm still confused as to why -if this is CFS- do I feel so much better when I eat hardly anything at all? Yesterday I only ate a few crackers every few hours and I felt great. No episodes at all.  Is that normal for CFS? (subtext: unless you rule everything else out, I won't fit the criteria for your study).

#30:  "That's Interesting. I'll tell you what: While we are waiting for the approval to come through, why dont' we go ahead and schedule a Glucose Tolerance Test to get your glucose and Insulin levels.  Because you know; -just recently I had a woman with that very thing..." (Subtext: Good point. I don't want you buggering up my CFS study if you have a metabolic problem.  Let's rule that out before we get started...)

Ahhhh. The old give-and-take of the negotiating table. How I missed it! 

My GTT is scheduled for tomorrow.

Comments

[yanub]

Good thing, keeping that bitch, Hope, at bay. There's always the details, the nasty little details, to be on the alert for. Still, for whoever does qualify for this study, how nice that it doesn't require participants to pay for the privilege of being guinea pigs.

[elizabeth]

Good luck, it is almost like moving forward, this dancing sideways. What is wrong with me when I am GLAD for my friends to get more medical tests - are there ever answers - yes, there must be! Okay, go for the answers, please find them, get better, leave here, the disability thing and go on and end up on the cover of newsweek or times or something (economist!, why not!).

[fridawrites]

I've heard that with epilepsy/seizures that certain foods can aggravate certain forms of it--something about needing a (non?) ketogenic diet? I'm wondering if that's why you feel better not eating too.

[One Sick Mother]

Yanub,

yes. This study looks more legitimate than the other one was. Better hospitals involved, too (without naming names)

Elizabeth,
Thanks. Yes it is strange how we are happy to have more tests. I'd be happy to be on the cover of Pet Weekly at this point. OK Maybe not...

Frida,

I have tried the diet thing: Atkins for seizures, ketogenic, gluten free... -you name it- with varying (mostly negative) results.

I gradually realized that unless I understand the underlying mechanism of the fits, no diet is going to work, because I don't know ultimately *how* it works. You know?

[fridawrites]

Yes, I do. I've done GF for 6 months now and just recently had the worst psoriasis outbreak I've had. It's all so confusing.

[One Sick Mother]

Frida,

I am sorry to hear that. I had high hopes for you and GF. Have you increased your intake of any food type since you changed to GF? I'm wondering is you increased something else to compensate, and that tipped you over the edge?

Or it could be a coincidence. Or something.