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January 02, 2012

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LR

Coward? Hell no! I call that survival! You win to live another day! Your instincts told you the best way to survive in that moment. Now shush on that word coward.

One Sick Mother

LR,

There was more to the story. I chose to leave it out and go with the drama. I was going to write the rest as a "Part 3". However, "Part 1" was one story, and "Part 2" was half of another. To continue part 2 wouldn't be "Part 3" but rather "part 2, part 2". Or maybe "Part 2½"

It was all getting a bit confusing.

Suffice to say, I eventually got a grip on myself and left that abusive relationship. Not soon enough. But I left, and that's what's important. I no longer see myself as a coward, but -as you said- a survivor.

OSM

Elizabeth McClung

It is odd how the body reacts in different circumstances, thank you for writing this, opening yourself up like this. I have also cowered, the one who leaned toward blows, and goes toward problems. Your writing helped me remember the ways in which I thought I knew myself in all way, and I didn't. I am glad you got out of that situation, and thank you for writing this.

One Sick Mother

Thank you Elizabeth. That means a lot, especially coming from you.

Tendai

I am glad you are safe now and can talk about your experience. Domestic abuse crosses culture, class, age and race and it can happen to anyone. Even those who said in the heart, "That will never happen to me."

It is extremely shocking when someone you love tries to physically hurt you. So it is normal to cower and then be ashamed and so embarassed about it that one won't tell anyone what is happening (besides, he cried,said he was sorry and promised he would never do it again). It's part of the cycle of abuse. So what if you cowered, nothing wrong with that unlike the bully who shouldn't have been freaking coming at you like he was going to smear you anyway.

From your post, I hope people will see that if it can happen to someone with your ability to confront anyone, that it can happen to them too. Too many people blame the victim about why they put up with it or question why didn't they fight back instead of understanding. Anyone would cower when someone 3x your size comes at you. What kind of person would we have to be in order to expect that anyone including those we love and who love us, at anytime, could come and kick our asses? How can we not be shocked?

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