One Sick Mother

Only An Aspie... ;)

Joe returned home late yesterday, having stayed on at school for the Games club (he did warn me in advance that he was planning to do this).

Me: "So Joe, how was the games club?"

Joe: "I didn't go to the games club. It was too crowded. I went to Mathletes instead"

Me: (who would rather stick a fork in her eye than volunteer for Math): "So how was Mathletes?"

Joe: "It was fine."

Me: "Are you going to do it again next week?"

Joe: "Sure!"

His Grandad would be so proud...

Lessons Learned in Washington

The kids and I took a vacation to Washington, DC last week.  Himself had to work, so it was just the three of us. I was apprehensive about taking a long trip with no adult backup, but they are both getting bigger now, and I have been feeling a little better, so I took a chance.

We Amktraked there; walked, Metroed and taxied around DC itself and made a few attempts to ride a double decker tour bus, with varying success.

Overall, we had a good time: only three meltdowns for the whole trip (one for each of us!) and no major incidents.  But of course, there were some lessons learned: A few little pointers or reminders that I will remember for the next trip:

1. When travelling with two Aspies and only an analog watch, one becomes quite adept at telling the exact time by analog. A German tourist looked surprised when he asked me the time, and I looked at me little Seiko and replied "4:42 ...almost 4:43".
2. If we are going somewhere, Grace asks the time roughly every seven minutes
3. ...unless she is nervous.  Then she asks pretty consistently every four minutes
4. Lesson: Make sure both kids are wearing synched digital watches next trip
5. When touristing in DC, I completely underestimated the advantage growing up in Dublin gave me for using the double decker bus. My kids could NOT handle the navigation and movement, especially going up and down stairs while the bus was in motion, whereas I was the lady with the cane hopping around that thing like I was born on it, catching stumbling children as I went. 
6. Because we saw about four or five homeless people during the entire week, Grace now tells everyone, in an outraged tone: "DC is full of HOBOs!".
7. Considering DC is the seat of our government, I think this is hilarious
8. The ticket booth in the metro does not sell tickets.  You need to use a machine to buy the tickets.
9. You also need to ask a kindly stranger to tell you how to use said ticket machine. Even if you have twenty years experience in the computer industry.
10. Fortunately,  there are a lot of kindly strangers in DC.
11. I had a good look at the casts of Abe Lincoln's hands. Although he was 6'4", and Marfan Syndrome is speculated for him, His hand's didn't look particularly Marfanesque to me.
12.  Seeing Night at the Museum, Battle of the Smithsonian AT the Smithsonian, in IMAX, was pretty cool.
13. Joe's bladder is the approximate size of a peanut 
14. Joe, in an apparent attempt to control or compensate for his peanut bladder, kept trying to hold it and wait for the last minute, which usually resulted in his HAVING to go at the worst possible time, like when were were finally near the front of the line, or the car/bus/train had just pulled off...
15. Sharing a hotel room with your two kids is a strange kind of lonely
16. When travelling alone with kids, Wet Ones are a requirement. Period.
17. Good french fries can cure a variety of ills, from motion sickness to the blues.
18. A child who had taken great care of a palate expander for months WILL accidentally throw it in the trash at the Natural History Museum
19. ...and only remember four hours later
20. The Natural History Museum generates a lot of trash in four hours (and no, we didn't get the expander back)
21. It is impossible to ground one kid and not the other when you are all in vacation and living in one room.
22. Joe is a slow walker
23. ....unless you give him a wheelie suitcase to pull, then he takes off like he has a rocket strapped to his bum (heavy work, maybe?).

Some notable quotes from the trip:

"You are acting more like a Camp counselor than a Mom"

On the way OUT of the Abe Lincoln exhibit, after seeing ALL the exhibits and the pictures of the conspiracy and after hearing the story of the assination TWICE on the tour bus:

 "Abe Lincoln was shot?  I didn't know he was shot!      ...who shot him?" (sigh)

"No we don't want to see the Star Spangled Banner. We heard the story already"

"Hey look! It's the Ruby Slippers from "Night at the Museum""

"So it went to the moon. Big deal!"

This trip was also a little experiment for me, to see how long I lasted without the computer and Internet. I deliberately did NOT take a laptop with me. This is the longest I have gone without a computer in 19 or 20 years.

I did great until Thursday morning, when there was a flurry of texts on my phone, and I realized someone in Ireland was trying to get hold of me (we go it sorted without a computer).

Other than that little start, I found the break refreshing.  I was getting a bit too immersed in the virtual worlds, and not spending enough time in the real world. Although I do fully intend to keep blogging, I have definitely cut down my computer time since returning.

Two Surprises

My Inbox contained two surprises today:

One was from a man who actually obtained a refund from Gordon's Herbal Research Center!  Hurray!  This is the first time I have heard of someone receiving a refund from ...well, any of the scammers I have listed, actually.

The second e-mail was from an outraged lady who thought I had e-mailed her about a scam (I think it was the Gordon's one again).  I had never heard of her, and I never e-mail people links to my stuff unless they contact me first and ask questions. This makes me wonder if someone is spoofing my e-mail address?

I checked my recent hits and there are an unusual number of hits to the Gordon's piece through Windows Live.  A Microsoft bug, perhaps?

Now, that so wouldn't be a first.  Or a surprise.

Why I Care

As most people who have read this site for more than three seconds will know, I have directed a lot of my time and energy to tracking down and outing scammers.  My ultimate goal is to shut these guys down, which is proving a lot more difficult than it should.

Why is it so hard?

Multiple reasons. For one, the Internet isn't a place. So who has jurisdiction on the Internet?

No-one.

Different countries have jurisdiction over their own "bit" of the Internet (and their own rules regarding it). There is some international co-operation regarding Internet use for very serious stuff, such as child pornography rings or human / human organ trafficking.  However, something as relatively "minor" as healthcare scams is way down the list of priorities for these guys.

So we look at the local enforcers.  Let's imagine a hypothetical situation:

Say you live in New Jersey and buy a product from a company that claims to be based in Norway. The product never arrives or doesn't work. Who do you contact?  The company. If they don't respond, to whom do you then turn? The FDA?  They won't get you your money back and they don't regulate supplements. Also, the company was based in Norway, right?  So the FDA will probably tell you to contact whoever in Norway regulates these guys.

Buy you don't happen speak or write Norwegian.

Nonetheless, you persevere and contact the Norwegian peeps, who do have English speakers on hand. They do a pretty rudimentary investigation on your missing $90, which is small potatoes to them, tell you that no such company as Oslo Health Solutions is registered in Norway, regardless what the internet says. But a search they did on the domain registration points to a US Domain site. You need to contact the US authorities.

You contact the US authorities with the domain information you got from the Norwegian folks. The US people check and they say the the US domain registration is a holding site, masking the real domain (many registration sites will offer this service). However, because the company who scammed you is based in Norway (or maybe Pakistan, from whence the dodgy product arrived), but not in the US, they have no grounds on which to investigate the real domain information. You need to go back to the Norwegians.

So you contact the Norwegians (again) and they insist that the domain company is a US one, and they have no jurisdiction. You need to contact the US authorities.

And so you are stuck.  You just went in a great big circle to end up precisely nowhere. For someone with a chronic health condition, this is probably familiar territory after dealing with the medical world.  But "familiar" does not mean "good".

So to whom do you turn?  Your credit card company. They are global too, and they will fight to get you back your money.

And so you eventually get back your money and you go on your way. 

However, no complaint has been registered that stuck, so the scammers are free to defraud indefinitely. 

But OSM. I hear you say  The imaginary person got their money back. So why do you care about all of this?

I care because the primary issue here isn't about the money. It's about the exploitation and mistreatment of sick people.

I care because people have their hopes raised (and you know how I feel about hope) and then dashed by callous predatory subhumans.

I care because if I don't care, and don't try to do something, it won't stop. More and more people will have their hopes raised and dashed.

I care because someone is profiting from their pain and desperation.

I care because the longer I do this, the less these medical conditions are lists of unpronounceable words, and the more they are associated with real people with real lives and families. Like:

• My friend, whose son has Muscular Dystrophy
• My stepmother, who has Rheumatoid Arthritis
• Stephen Deal, who also has MD
• Elizabeth, who has MSA
• Blake, who has SMA
• Janice who suffers very badly with Syringomyelia
• My friend Betsy who had Pseudotumor Cerebri
• The woman from whom we bought this house, who had Parkinson's Disease
• My friend's ex, who had Bell's Palsy
• Another friend's child, who was born with severe Cerebral Palsy and requires 24/7 care
• Another friend who has alopcea, which has impacted his self-esteem for years
• My great-aunt Nora, who went blind from Glaucoma

...and then all the people who have contacted me because they were scammed or almost scammed:

• A lady  in England with painful ganglion
• A man whose girlfriend has been blinded by Retinitis Pigmentosa
• A woman in Australia who has Melasma
• A man in Europe whose girlfriend has narcolepsy, and who has bad side effects from the conventional drugs used to treat it
• A man with Myasthenia Gravis in the States
• a very nice person -not sure wherefrom, who e-mailed me to ask me if I had any information on Scleroderma treatment, as the one product which had seemed to show promise had been outed as a scam by me.

There are many, many more.

So to me now, when I see these scams operating, I don't see words on a screen. I see my stepmother's hands, Or Elizabeth's vivid imagery. I see my friend pushing her son in a wheelchair, turning away from the Memorial Day parade because she cannot look at so many able-bodied kids parading down the main drag, while hers is the only one in town in a wheelchair.

I see evil, money-grubbing, bastards preying on and playing with my friends.

Behind these long disease names and behind every one of the links, there are real people with real challenges, who have to face each day and carry on. I care about that. I care about them, which is why I won't rest until the scammers are shut down,

The really sad thing is this: 

I seem to be the only one who cares this much.

Those Little Things We Say....

My sister had five children in as many years. So for several years,  her house was like some kind of cross between a daycare, a zoo, and an asylum. For most of these years, I lived in a different country so my main communication with her was over the phone.

So there we would be on the phone, chatting normally, when suddenly I would be deafened as my sis would break up a fight or something. Here is an example of what our phone conversations were like for several years.

Sis "...well, there he was, standing all alone, so I wen... GET OFF HIS HEAD!!!  YOU'LL HURT HIM(?)  GET OFF HIS HEAD NOW!!!  ...t over to him and sai...  LET GO OF HIS TAIL!!! NOW! HE'LL BITE YOU!!!  LET GO!!  RIGHT NOW!!! ...d "are you lost, luvvy?  Do you need me to help you find your mum?"

Yes. I was lost. And somewhat deaf in one ear.

I thought, after listening to my sis for years, that I was somewhat prepared for the kinds of things you say when you have kids. I also made sure I had a cordless phone and many handsets, which definitely cuts down on the yelling aspect (In fairness: my sis didn't actually yell that much normally, but while on the phone back then, she was tied to one location).

Today, as I found myself calmly telling Grace "don't suck the cat's blood" I realized that yes, there are definitely some phrases that pop out of my mouth; some combinations of words that I NEVER thought I would say in that order, and it makes me shake my head. Or smile. Usually both.  And sometimes the things I say make me wonder if I have been transported into some kind of bizarro world, or am somehow the star of my very own "Truman show"?  The "cat's blood" thing was totally innocuous, BTW. They were playing a vampire game, and poor George had been designated a 'victim'.

Now, I had expected some strange expressions to come out of my mouth. Here are a few I had expected (and got):

• We don't bring worms/ bugs/ snails/ dead birds into the house"
• We don't run out into traffic
• We don't threaten to kill our sister/brother.
• We don't pick the neighbour's flowers, not even as a gift for Mom.
• We don't go visiting the neighbours without permission (Grace)
• No. You may not drive the car
• See! I TOLD you Teddy can't go in the bath!
• This is what happens when you don't put your gum in the trash!

...and then some things I NEVER thought I would ever hear myself say; especially not in the calm, matter-of-fact voice I perfected about a year or so after Joe's special needs became apparent.

• We don't growl at friends/ strangers/ anybody
• We don't attack other kid's moms (/dads) in the zoo  ...Or anywhere, for that matter.
• We keep our clothes and shoes on in the restaurant, please
• We don't sniff the pizza delivery guy
• We don't tunnel behind the boxes on the supermarket shelf  (I distinctly remember wondering where Joe was, and then when looking down the aisle, I watched a progression of cereal boxes fall off the shelf, one after another, away from me, allowing me to track his progress down the back of the shelf. He was pretty fast! There was a long line of boxes by the time I got to him.)
• Do you always pick on disabled four-year olds? Or have you waited your whole life to meet your intellectual equal? (this to a man in K-mart, who was being mean to Joe.  ...and that one wasn't said in a calm voice!)
• Please don't sniff the food you are given in Kyle's house. His mom's feeling might be hurt.
• What show is that from? (this in response to a clearly echolalic utterance) 
• You need to tell people who you are when you call them on the regular phone. it's not like Skype.  They can't see you.
• No sweetheart. Zombies won't get into the house while we are sleeping. The alarm is set.
• I know the guy was fat, but you can't say that to his face.  You have to use other words, like 'big" ... better yet: Don't mention it at all...

...and there are a few non-parenting-related  phrases I never thought I would hear myself utter, either.

• "Don't call 911. It's only been 40 minutes" (since the seizure began) Don't try that one at home, kids.
• "I think we can get it back in. Just pull my arm straight out -don't twist, whatever you do.  On my count..."

I'm sure there are many more, but I can hear the kids start to get wild in the background, and I suspect I will have to go and use some of my phrases in a minute.

What about you?  Are there any particular phrases you never thought you would use that stand out in your mind?

Consider The Source -Revisited

I wrote a fun post entitled "Consider the Source" before. But this time I want to talk about a more serious topic, which is becoming more important in the blogging world.  I probably should have entitled this piece "Consider the Motive" and it would have worked, but I like to go with my first instinct for a title.

Every now and again, I am approached by someone who wants to talk about a "great new product" or a "great new service"  Usually, when I pull back the covers and investigate a little (because I investigate everything), it will turn out to be a false person endorsing Syrotab or some other scam.

Even if it is a legitimate product or service; e-mail or posts of this nature, -which are essentially solicitations- leave me feeling a bit skeevy. I always wonder at the people who will try to drum up free advertising for their product over the blogosphere.  Especially if they are mining the Autism or disability community to do it.

I got an e-mail yesterday today from someone; -we'll call her "Tiffany"-  who "thought this new Autism website would be of interest to you and your readers" and then included a very professional press release about it.

A press release.  Noooo thankyouverymuch.  OSM does not advertise. So I ignored the e-mail.

Tiffany does not like to be ignored, apparently.

This morning, I get a e-mail from her asking me if I was going to write a post about the "great new website". I told her OSM does not advertise. I thought that was the end of it. But nooo. Tiffany is tenacious  "We are not hoping for an advertisement. I just know that you blog about Autism, and this new service may be of interest to your readers". 

Um. OK. What is that, then if it is not an advertisement? Apart from the 'getting paid' part, of course? Oh wait... It's an endorsement (but still without the 'getting paid' piece). Silly me! It could also be called a mention, a plug or just plain old PR.  It is basically a way to get the fledgling (wannabe) brandname out there to a targeted audience.

Well, as Tiffany the Tenacious wasn't leaving me alone; I got curious. Usually when I say no, people go away. But she kept coming back. I decided to check out the "great new Autism Website", thinking that maybe they were an new, eager non-profit agency running on a tight budget and that Tiffany was perhaps a zealous volunteer or an intern. The site is slick and professional. No telltale 501(c)(3) notice anywhere. They are a for-profit organization. And they want your credit card information. The "great new service" that Tiffany was so gung-ho about is not provided for free, or even on a sliding scale for the needy. It will cost the average Joe (SickMother) $100 per month.  And yet here they are: contacting this Sick Mother in the hope that she will give them free advertising, or maybe spend $100 per month of her disability check on their (untested, unstudied, unproven) "great new service".

Niiiiice

And Tiffany is not a volunteer. She works for a New York City Public Relations agency.

Let me spell it out: This for-profit "Autism" agency is paying a New York PR agency to drum up free endorsements from Autism bloggers.  And that is not the end of it. The data of which bloggers take the bait, and how they 'perform' will be then saved, analyzed, measured and matrixed; and maybe the list of 'high-performing' blogs/bloggers will be re-used and/or sold to other for-profit firms, who wish to break into the Autism vertical.  Because let's face it guys: As I myself have pointed out, Autism is a growing market.

I know I am cynical, but this is how it works, people.

I don't know how many other bloggers have been contact by "Tiffany" and her ilk, but I am sending a warning out there to anyone who has been contacted about a "great new Autism website" to consider the source. And the motive. You may choose to give them a plug if you think the product looks good, (and I don't blame anyone who does), but I personally have a hard time with PR people being paid to trawl  the Internet, looking for bloggers to exploit.

For all bloggers: Here is a one-minute guide on how to spot a professional who may be looking to exploit you:

• Including a press release is a dead giveaway
• So is follow-up: "I was just wondering if..."  or my favorite: "I just wanted to touch base..."
• If the company/site that they are trying to sell is an US company, check their site to see if it says anywhere that is is a 501(c)(3) corporation, which signifies a not-for-profit.  Most NFP corporations state so clearly.
• Check the domain name on the e-mail address of the sender (the part after the @). Go to whateveritis.com and research *that* company. You will know pretty quickly if that company is a marketing or PR agency. If it is, ...well, proceed at your own discretion (but don't say I didn't warn you!).

So there you are, Tiffany.  You got me to write a post in the end. It may not be exactly what you wanted, but all advertising is good advertising, right? 

Or maybe; -as King Midas found out, you should be careful what you wish for.

Oh!  and put me on your "do not call" list.

K? Thx

Buh-bye.

Oslo Health Solutions: Preying On The Sick Part III

I'm kind of sick talking about these people by now, to be honest with you. I have devoted hours and hours of rather nauseating research to Oslo Health Solutions and their claims. There are many, many more hours of work that could be done; -just on the Internet alone, before one starts on private and other channels, but I don't have the resources for it, financially,  physically or spiritually.

But there are two areas I do want to explore:  How people like this might think, because it seems to me,  their thought processes are very different than us trusting honest normal people. Maybe getting into their brains a little will help us to beware of others of their ilk.

And I also want to let you know how you can fight back; against people like this in general and against Oslo Health Solutions (OHS) in particular.  Because let's face it: Oslo Health Solutions run a pretty despicable operation and they need to be stopped.  Now.

So how do they think they can get away with it?  I have thought about this and I think I figured out a few um ....principles for Internet fraud.

1. Lie Big:
   It is a concept con-men have down cold, but one that most decent people can't get their heads around:  If you are going to lie to people: Lie big. Don't bend or massage the truth.  People are expecting that. Most normal people lie small, They exaggerate or use words like "almost" or "virtual".  But the truth is usually somewhere underneath. People expect this and watch out for exaggerations and small lies. People generally don't expect a lie to be totally bald-faced and to have no relation to the truth. Therefore we see the grandiose claims OHS make and we expect there is some truth to them. This is why OHS were so smart in their pitch. They understood this and therefore they sold so high, but delivered so low, they seem to have flown right underneath most radars.  
    
2. Divide and Conquer: 
   People with specific illnesses don't generally go looking for herbal treatments for other illnesses, so if one product was exposed as a fraud, then it is just that one out of ...what?  ...about 60 now that I have found?... I figure OHS simply dump the product that was exposed, find a new disease, re-brand the website and labels as "new disease-Tab" and then carry on selling the exact same product to a different market.
   
   I guess OHS didn't expect anyone to search on more than one or two of the diseases they cover. The must have figured that chances that someone would work out that they are selling  the same list of ingredients as  a completely guaranteed and clinically proven herbal treatment for up to nineteen (19) different conditions, from teething troubles to Multiple System Atrophy (MSA), which is generally fatal within two years of diagnosis (Elizabeth at Screw Bronze! has MSA. Read her blog if you want some graphic descriptions of what it does to one .... and   -Quick! give her some shallots and Red Earth!  That'll be bound to cure her...)
   
   
3. Avoid well-organized groups:
   There is No MS-Tab, no Breast Cancer-Tab, no Autism or Aspie-Tab, no Alzheimer's-Tab and I think there is a very good reason for this. It is probably the same reason Cardio-tab no longer exists:  These conditions are highly public and have well-populated organizations and lots of support groups surrounding them, the jig would be up pretty quickly with most of these conditions. -I was actually surprised to find MD-tab, Leukotab and Parkotab, as they are also quite well organized too.  
    
4. Use the Global Market to confuse your  umm... "customers":
   If you set up shop based out of a small, little understood country in Scandinavia, then ship your product from Pakistan, most normal sick people won't be able to figure out how to take action against you from halfway around the world... 
   
   But keep reading.  I have found a fair bit of information on this.

I have two imaginary scenarios for who could be behind Oslo Health Solutions:  In the first one, it is a couple of teenagers, now young men, who started it as little more than a lark out of someone's bedroom, not fully comprehending the real lives that could be effected behind the illness they researched on-line to create new markets for a Pakistani Hemorrhoid preparation.

It the other scenario, it was started very deliberately by adults who have no regard for others, knew exactly what they were doing and are in this game to make money, not caring at all who gets hurt in the process.

Regardless, it is wrong.

Several people asked me, both in comments and through other channels, if we could inform the FDA about this. I don't think the FDA has any interest, as natural remedies and herbal supplements are not very regulated here in the US. However, they might be interested to investigate if they thought Americans were being sold Strychnine as a supposed cure for Parkinson's disease.   I will look into this.

However, FDA aside (for now), the Norwegian government DOES regulate (and tax!) natural remedies. It falls under the jurisdiction of the Norwegian Medicines Agency, and they have an English version of their website, and of their contacts page (how cool is that?), complete with e-mail addresses, so you can send the links directly. I love Scandinavian efficiency!

Now, I suspect that Oslo Health Solutions are trying to get around some of the European laws and regulations governing sales of herbal remedies as well as false advertising laws by manufacturing and shipping their product from Pakistan. 

However, Pakistan now has the Electronic Transaction Ordinance (2002) which protect consumers in electronic commercial transactions, such as buying poison from Pakistan. More interestingly, there is the 2007 Electronic Crime Ordinance which has this interesting clause, potentially punishable by death:

17. Cyber terrorism. -

a. Any person, group or organization who, with terroristic intent utilizes, accesses or causes to be accessed a computer or computer network or electronic system or electronic device or by any available means, and thereby knowingly engages in or attempts to engage in a terroristic act commits the offence of cyber terrorism.

Explanation1: For the purposes of this section the expression “terroristic intent” means to act with the purpose to alarm, frighten, disrupt, harm, damage, or carry out an act of violence against any segment of the population, the Government or entity associated therewith...."

Do you think that selling Strychnine to Parkinson's patients over the Internet could be interpreted as "Intent to harm, damage or carry an act of violence against a segment of the population..." (what we in America would call a hate crime)?  I think it could be.  

Interesting stuff, eh? 

Now: Of the sites I investigated (and I have to admit that a few, such as Inisitab, and Abdotab were late additions to the party) the vast majority claimed to be run our of Norway, from this address:

Oslo Health Solutions

Oslo Health Solutions
Suite 329
Youngstorget
NO-0028 Olso
Norway

There are a few exceptions, Some had no address whatsoever, but when you click on the "order now" , button, it comes up as Oslo Health Solutions. These included Raynotab, Guillatab, Clearotab,

...and a few products seemed to be run out of the UK, from corporations (...or are they? "Inc" is not a UK corporation suffix  "Ltd" or "plc" are the norm over there.  ...Hmmmm.)  supposedly operating over there.  Note the addresses are all exactly the same.

Vertigo Tab Inc
Suite 10 & 11
Siddeley House
50 Canbury Park Road
Kingston Upon Thames
Surrey - KT2 6LX
UK

Anemia Tab Inc
Suite 10 & 11
Siddeley House
50 Canbury Park Road
Kingston Upon Thames
Surrey - KT2 6LX
UK

Psoriasis Tab Inc
Suite 10 & 11
Siddeley House
50 Canbury Park Road
Kingston Upon Thames
Surrey - KT2 6LX
UK

Vitiligo Tab was the one which had buried its tracks particularly well. No address, no telltale "Oslo Health Solutions" banner on the order form. The Web site was registered to a "Charls Dickens" (sic)  of

Berkeley Square House,
W1J 6BD
London,  W1J 6BD
United Kingdom

In the UK, companies making false claims over the Internet are regulated by  The Trading Standards Institute.  Vitigilo tab is claiming that "Vitiligo Tab is our 100% guaranteed and clinically proven permanent cure for Vitiligo" (my emphasis). Psoriasis Tab and Vertigo Tab also claim a "100% cure", whereas Anemia Tab claims a "completely guaranteed and clinically proven herbal treatment for Anemia".  Are these false claims?  I dunno, but I think they should be investigated by the appropriate parties.

So what you do is this: You go to their site and enter the postcode

for the guys against whom you wish to complain, which is KT2 6LX  or W1J 6BD (for Charls Dickens) and you follow the instructions from there.

Little people can fight back, you know. We just need to get the right muscle on our side.

Oslo Health Solutions: Preying On The Sick Part II

This is Part II of my little exploration of a unscrupulous company who takes advantage of sick people by selling them herbal remedies under false pretenses. In part I, I told you about the products sold by Oslo Health Solutions, which is by far the worst offender out there that I have found. In Part II, I am sticking with Oslo Health Solutions, and concentrating on the ingredients they claim are beneficial for a very wide variety of serious ailments. I am uncovering new and interesting information every day, none of it good.

 I promised you an analysis of the formulations that Oslo Health Solutions (OHS) purport to use for the various ailments that they purport to treat.  I performed this exercise a couple of years ago on the Syrotab formulation, what I am now calling "Formulation 1" herein, as it is touted not only for the "guaranteed treatment of Syringomelia" (a condition which cause hideous pain, disablement and eventual death), but as a "guaranteed treatment" for several conditions, including Post-Polio syndrome (potentially crippling), Osteomyelitis (potentially fatal) , Peripheral Neuropathy (often treatable if the underlying cause is located) and Muscular Dystrophy (both crippling AND fatal).  My little analysis at the time was done for fun, and it was amusing-if-a-little-scary then. Looking back and knowing what  I now know, Formulation 1

The main ingredients are listed as

Magnesium Murakab
Zinc Murakab
Berberis aristate
Ext Egg Shell Calcium
Sulphur
Substituted olive Oil

The exact proportion of each ingredient has been deliberately kept secret to avoid imitations of our confidential formula.

LETS BREAK THIS DOWN, SHALL WE?

Magnesium Murakab, Zinc Murakab
I could not find any information on these specific formulations of magnesium and zinc. So I looked up the work “Murakab”:

It is an Islamic concept meaning “complex ignorance” See the following explanation:

The classical ulama of Islam divided ignorance into two parts; namely; simple (basiit) ignorance and complex (murakab) ignorance. In simple ignorance one knows that one does not know whereas in complex ignorance one does not know that one does not know. Often people who do not have book knowledge, i.e., those who did not have the chance to study at universities are characterized by simple ignorance. This type of ignorance is not as deadly as complex ignorance since one does not have the arrogance and the pride that often accompanies the thought of considering oneself ’educated’.

Hmmm. Something smelled bad. So I kept looking down the ingredients list:

Berberis aristate Ext: OK this is actually something, though misspelled.  It is extract from the plant Berberis Aristata, English name Tree Tumeric, the root of which has antibiotic and anti-inflammatory properties. (To my eyes, They will need all the anti-inflammatory properties they can get to counterbalance that "Murakab" jab.)

Egg Shell Calcium (quoi? I know eggshells won't do any harm if ground up finely, but I don't think the type of calcium found in eggshells is can be absorbed by humans)

Sulphur:  (in what form? and some people are allergic to sulphur -where's the warning?)

Substituted olive Oil: Substituted for what? Or more interestingly; what was substituted for olive oil?

My summary at the time:

Should I ever get the urge to sprinkle my breakfast eggs with tree tumeric, sulphur and complex ignorance, then eat them shells and all, I will let you guys know how I get on. In the meantime,. I think that anyone with Syringomyelia or other conditions should save their money to apply to real medical expenses.

("Had the effectiveness of Syrotab not been proven beyond any doubt, it would not be "possible for us to make such a bold claim")

Formulation 2:

The main ingredients, according to Oslo Health Solutions are:

Berberis aristata D.C Ext.
Melia azadirachta Linn Seed
Raphanus satirus Linn
Melia azadirachta Bark
Red earth
Sulphur (purified)
Allium ascalonicum seed

These ingredients, presumably in different combinations (if one is to be kind) are "guaranteed" by OHS to treat the following

Muscular Fasciculation

Kugelberg Welander Syndrome 

Pseudotumor Cerebri

Ascites

Myelodysplastic Syndromes

Teething Troubles (Yes. They say you should give it to babies!)

Spasmodic Torticollis

Enlarged Tonsils

Arachnoid Cysts

Multiple System Atrophy

Ameloblastoma

Wiskott Aldrich Syndrome

Horner's Syndrome

Chordoma

Benign Essential Tremor

Myelodysplastic Syndromes

Benign Essential Blepharospasm

Cronkhite-Canada Syndrome

Megaloblastic Anemia

Really.

So I did a little research on each of these ingredients:

Berberis aristata D.C Ext.: Here again is our friend the Tree turmeric, spelled correctly this time.

Melia Azadirachta Linn Seed: Azadirachata Indica is an evergreen tree native to India and the region. It is used for medicinal purposes: The bark is used for fever, nausea and skin diseases. The leaves are used for skin diseases -but applied topically.

I couldn't figure out what the seed oil (I presume this is what Linn Seed means) is used for specifically.

Raphanus satirus Linn: I think this might actually refer to Raphanus Sativus Linn, which is the Chinese radish. Its seeds are used for natural medicine in diuretics and laxatives and also to help naso-pharyngeal affections and stomach troubles

Melia azadirachta Bark: Bark from the Azadirachata Indica tree as mentioned previously. The bark is used for fever, nausea and skin diseases.

Red Earth: Um. I think as the description suggests, this is earth (dirt) that is red, from India. It is seems to be used in face packs and the like. I don't know why anyone would eat it, but maybe there is a good reason.

Sulphur (purified): Used in Indian homeopathic medicine. I am not sure what for, exactly

Allium ascalonicum seed: Allium ascalonicum is the common shallot. Shallots appear to contain more flavonoids and phenols than other members of the onion family.

While researching these ingredients, I found them listed in the same order, with the same misspellings, on a site that appears to have nothing (publically) to do with Oslo Health Solutions.

Check out the information for Pileen, a natural remedy for hemmorhoids, which is marketed and sold by Ark Corporation (Rawalpindi, Pakistan)

Some text from their site:

PILEEN is an effective herbal remedy for treatment of piles or haemorrhoids. It stops bleeding of haemorrhoids and relieves pain and inflamation. Pileen also removes the constipation, which is one of the main cuases of piles. Pileen is equally effective for both (internal and extrenal) forms of piles.

WHAT IS PILES?
Piles, also known as haemorrhoids, are swollen blood vessels in the back passage. There are two types of piles - internal or external: Internal piles are the most common form of the condition and appear as bright red shiny swellings inside the anal canal, covered in the thin, moist lining of the rectum. External piles are swollen veins close to the anal opening, covered in a layer of skin with a dark red or dusky purple appearance and can resemble bunches of grapes.The main cuases of piles are constipation (for a long period) and use of too much chillies and spices.

To prevent piles :

• Ensure that there is adequate roughage (bran, whole grains, green vegetable, and fruits) in your diet.
• Avoid alcohol, tea, coffee and very spicy food
• Drink at least 8 glasses of water daily preferably non-refrigerated.
• If your life style is sedentary include some exercises in your daily routine.
• Get yourself treated for any condition that is causing you to strain such as chronic cough
• Attend to nature's call daily and do not postpone the urge to defecate, but do not sit for too long in the toilet.
• Maintain god hygiene and keep the anal area dry learn to relax mentally and regularize your life style
• Isabghol husk can be taken as a bulk forming laxative.

DOSAGE:
Two tablets thrice a day with water.

INGREDIENTS:
Berberis Aristata ,Melia Azedarch, Linn Seed, Raphanus Satirus, Red Earth, Purified Sulphur, Allium Ascaionicum Seed.

Just a side-by-side look at the ingredients again: Pileen above, multiple OHS products below

Berberis aristata D.C Ext.
Melia azadirachta Linn Seed
Raphanus satirus Linn
Melia azadirachta Bark
Red earth
Sulphur (purified)
Allium ascalonicum seed

Fascinating, huh?

The funniest fact is this:  OSH do sell a product called Hemorotab, but the ingredients are completely different than the hemmorhoid treatment they apparently re-label and sell to treat MSA and other serious health conditions! Mad, eh? Here is the list for Hemorotab (Hemorotab! I ask you?! Sweet mother of God! I couldn't MAKE this stuff up!)

(The main ingredients of Hemorotab tablets are: Nuqra flakes , Ruby triturated, Turquoise, Agate green, Bombyx mori, Elettaria cardamomum, Conucilien, Corallium rubrum, Coral, Sea coconut, Ambra grasea, Aquilaria ovata, Delphinium denudatum, Doronicum hookeri, Lapis lazuli, Myristica indica, Pearls triturated, Vateria indica, zehar mohra, Crocus sativus

Hmmmm ...rather heavy on the precious and semi-precious stones, this one. Who knew hemmorhoids were so status-conscious?)

...but I digress...

On to Formulation 3...

This one is supposedly for the treatment of Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP), which is a bleeding condition in which the blood doesn’t clot as it should due to a low platelet count. OHS's "treatment" for this includes the following.

Ammonium Chloride
Potassium Nitrate
Cinnamomum
Tamala
Rheum Emodi, Wall
Base Q . S

My analysis:

Ammonium Chloride: Salt of Ammonia. Its expectorant action is caused by irritative action on the bronchial mucosa. This causes the production of excess respiratory tract fluid which presumably is easier to cough up. I'm not sure what benefit this woudl have to bleeding or platelets, exactly.

Ammonium salts are an irritant to the gastric mucosa and may induce nausea and vomiting.  (Again, not getting the platelet connection here)

Potassium Nitrate: Salt Peter. A popular misconception was that potassium nitrate caused impotence and it used to be added to food in all-male institutions. This myth has been debunked. However, potassium nitrate and other nitrates do successfully combat high blood pressure and are used medically to relieve angina.  (Fair enough -not that I think ITP causes either of these problems.)  Oh and BTW:   Platelets, anyone?

Cinnamomum Tamala: Indian Bay leaf. It is mostly used as a seasoning, but is reputed to help colic, diarrhoea, and "rheumatism". It is also said to reduce blood sugar.

Rheum Emodi, Wall: Reported to be useful in biliousness, chronic bronchitis, asthma, sore eyes and bruises.(OK! Maybe this one is for the platelets!)

Base Q . S: I could only find references to this as a listed ingredient in some shampoo that is supposed to prevent hair loss...

Formulation 4.

For Peptic Ulcer Disease,  -the thing that struck me -just looking down this list, was that there is a lot of strong, fragrant substances being sold to soothe a peptic ulcer? Logically, that doesn't compute...

Camphor: Camphor is used in several cough preparations such as Vicks and Buckley's as a cough suppressant and topical analgesic

Menthol: Menthol has analgesic properties that are mediated through a selective activation of κ-opioid receptors. Menthol also enhances the efficacy of ibuprofen in topical applications via vasodilation, which reduces skin barrier function

Oleum anisi: Oil of Anise is employed as an aromatic carminative to relieve flatulence. The oil may be administered on sugar or as Spiritus or Elixir Anisi. It is a mild expectorant, and is an ingredient of simple cough lozenges, often in combination with liquorice

Oleum carvi: Caraway Oil is used to impart flavor to medicines, and to correct their nauseating and griping effects

Oleum eucalypti: The oil of eucalyptus (which is chiefly eucalyptol) and eucalyptol, in small doses, are gentle stimulants; in large doses, they occasion irritation of the throat and fauces, with increased flow of saliva; cephalagia, with extreme fatigue; frequency of the pulse; increased temperature; diminution of vascular tension; gastric irritability, and, not unfrequently, diarrhoea, accelerated respiration, the peculiar odor of the oil being exhaled with the breath; and increase of the urinary excretion

Oleum pine: Pine Oil. It is given internally as a disinfectant and expectorant,

Thymol: Thyme extract. Recent medical research on rats concludes that "Thyme extract had relaxing effects on organs possessing β₂-receptors (uterus and trachea). Thymol has GABAergic properties via a mechanism of action similar to the anaesthetic propofol. Though much less potent, thymol may possess abuse potential (Nice!).

Tincture zingiber: Essence of Ginger  used to calm the stomach and also to treat pneumonia, acute and sub-acute dysentery

Formulation 5

This is purportedly for the treatment of Parkinson's Disease, Soft Tissue Sarcomas and Atrial Fibrillation. It was when I started to go through this particular list that I started to feel like I had stepped into the twilight zone. The lady from whom we bought our house had Parkinson's, and I saw a tiny piece of that that did to her. It is a horrible disease (most of the diseases OHS claim to treat are horrible. This seems to be deliberate). To think that these people are selling the list below (read it) as a "completely guaranteed and clinically proven herbal supplement that helps patients overcome the symptoms of Parkinson's Disease" just makes me want to vomit. Apparently, if I took some parkotab, I might do just that! Read on if you have the stomach for it:

Salvia Haematodes: (from a PubMed article) The aqueous extract of the root of Salvia haematodes has been investigated for its pharmacological actions on the cardiovascular and central nervous system. It was found to possess significant cardiotonic and anticonvulsant activities.

Centauria Behan: Centaurea Behen is the correct spelling. A white flower of the knapweed family. Said to be tonic.

Orchis Mascula: The ground-up root (called Salep) is very nutritive, astringent, expectorant and demulcent. It has been used as a diet of special value for children and convalescents,

Delphinium Denudatum: According to an Indian Medical site: "It helps in reducing the inflammation and also helps in relieving pain. It helps in curbing the infection happening in the body and wounds. It is a good nervine tonic and makes the nervous system strong. It improves digestion and normalizes the peristaltic movements in the gut. It stimulates heart for normal functioning and also helps in purifying the infected blood. It checks the respiratory system by expelling out the extra mucus from it. It is a good aphrodisiac agent and also normalizes the menstrual cycle". (I bet the men with Parkinson's will be pleased to have their cycles regulated. Quick! Call Michael J. Fox!)

Myristica Frargrans: Duplicate entry -a mispelling of Myristica Fragrans (i.e. nutmeg) -see below for details

Cinnamonum Cassia: "Chinese cinnamon", a key ingredient in 5 spice seasoning, but has no medical properties that I could find.

Doronicum Pardalia: Thanks to the misspelling of "Doronicum Pardalis" I found this little gem, from our friends at Ark Corporation in Pakistan.

Aren't misspellings fun?!

Doronicum Pardalis: -no such thing. Doronicum is a plant called leopard's bane and Pardalis is a descriptive word meaning well... leopard! (...so that means...what? leopard's leopard's bane? Leopards bane squared? The mind boggles...)

Zingiber Officinale: Common Ginger. It is often used as a natural remedy for stomach upset, motion sickness, and nausea

Asparagus Racemosus: A plant native to India. It is sometimes used to treat dyspepsia.

Paeonia Emodi: The Himalayan Peony. Not only is it purty,

it actually has a significant effect on the Central Nervous System.  Read this.

I don't know if this is necessarily a beneficial effect for Parkinson's sufferers, however...

Serpentine Bezoar:  It sounds like something out of Harry Potter, right? And it almost is. A bezoar is a mass found trapped in the digestive tract of an animal. A hairball is the most common kind (Yum!).

I couldn't find much information about serpetine beozar (outside of references on various OHS sites). I imagine most of the big ones would end up in a serpentine shape (think about it), as opposed to a having been taken from a snake's digestive tract, although maybe that's what they mean. Either way, I am not impressed.

In the middle ages, Beozars were highly prized and considered to be an antidote to any poison; -which theoretically makes it a good thing to put in this particular formulation,  given some of the other ingredients therein (see further down the list). But that myth was debunked in 1575.

Pearl Oster: This may refer to the remains of this woman (at this point, I wouldn't put anything past Oslo Health Solutions!)

...or it could mean "Pearl Oyster". This in turn, could either mean pearl oyster mushrooms, or it could refer to actual ground-up pearls (less likely).

Caryophilus Aromaticus, which are cloves

Kushta Qalee: I can't quite figure this one out. It appears to be some kind of substance popular for male performance improvement, It is used in several such products including  Ejacutab!  (hey look! There's the laughing couple again!)

Stychnos Nuxvomica: Misspelled. This refers to Strychnos Nux-Vomica, which is a product of the Strychnine tree. (Yes, really! Nux Vomica = poision nut!) According to the Internet, It can actually be used to treat flu, fatigue, hangovers, stress, headache and sleeplessness

...and to kill people, of course. Let's not forget that.

Asphaltum: No. This does not refer to ground-up road. Not quite, anyway. Asphaltum does occur naturally and is sold in India as Shilajit (which means destroyer of weakness in Sanskrit -love that!). According to a site I found "it works as a powerful anti oxidant thereby delaying aging. It is an effective remedy in arthritic conditions like rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, gout and other joint related problems and back pain".

Amber Gris: Ambergris occurs as a biliary secretian of the intetines of the Sperm whale and can be found floating upon the sea, or in the sand near the coast . Ambergris has been mostly known for its use in creating perfume and fragrance much like musk. During the Middle Ages, Europeans used ambergris as a medication for headaches, colds, epilepsy and other ailments

Bambusa Arundinacea: Thorny Bamboo. It is used as an aphrodisiac, diuretic, demulcent, tonic, pectoral, stimulant, and antifertility treatment.

Myristica Fragrans: Nutmeg! (known as Jaiphal in India) Jaiphal is a aromatic, carminative, hallucinogenic, stimulant that is considered effective in digestive disorder, de-hydration & skin disorders.

I wanted to continue this exercise. There are at least 8 other formulations that I have not covered. But honestly, I am feeling quite ill right now. I think If before, anyone might have thought there may be something to the claims of Oslo Health Solutions, the idea of giving whale bile, posion, hairballs and unstudied anti-convulsants to someone with Parkinson's disease will make them think again.

There will be a Part III in this series, because I still have some questions which I think are relevant. However, in the meantime, here is a list of even more Oslo Health Solutions products I have found while researching this piece.

Hernotab, Hemotab, Hemnotab, Hemorotab, Ejacutab, Phyratab, Fibritab

Is there no end? ...

Rainbows and Grace

So I picked Grace up from Brownies today. They were running late, so rather than wait at the front door, I went into the school and peeked in the room to watch my beloved daughter at her group social activity with the typical kids.

I saw a rather extraordinarily dressed woman singing with the girls. She looked like the 70s love child of a cross-dressing Gay Pride marcher and a 5 year-old girl's glamour ideal. She had on a floaty dress made of different coloured scarves, a Rainbow shawl, a bad blond 70's wig and silver bedazzled high-heeled pumps. -actually the pumps wouldn't have been too bad but they were round-toe covered platforms. If you are going to go high, you may as well go pointy, in my opinion. And I don't like the covered platform look. I think only Gucci did it well. (But I digress)

So they sang their song and she tried to flog the kids a CD and a book. Grace took only the flyer, slung it in her backpack and seemed in a hurry to leave.  We talked on the way home:

So Grace, did you like the Rainbow Lady?"
"Not really"
"Why?"
"I don't know"
"What did she talk about?"
"About helping people and stuff"
"well, that's not bad, is it?"
"No ...but she said we all have a rainbow in our hearts and that just isn't true."

Knowing Grace as I do, I figured she wrote the Rainbow Lady off as soon as she heard that "Rainbow in our heats" bullshit (Grace is very literal and she owns a book on the Human Body -no rainbows!). After that, it didn't matter what the Rainbow Lady said, as far as Grace was concerned; Ms Rainbow could have offered a feasible solution to the economy or World peace and it woudl have fallen on the deaf ears of Grace. The Rainbow Lady had tried to bullshit Grace once and that was it. Everything she said thereafter (or therebefore!) must be rubbish.

I guess the Rainbow Lady never factored Aspies into the equation when she was writing her material.

Methinks it is time the Rainbow Ladies embraced the new Millenium.

Rules, Damn Rules and Statistics

I have been thinking about rules a lot recently. I live in a house with two ASD kids, so rules are a big part of my home life. Here are examples of some of the more colorful rules we have had in the past:

• We keep our shoes and clothes on in restaurants.

• No rocks in the house

• We don't growl at friends (or at anybody).

• We don't lick Mom

• No sniffing the Dominos man (it really freaks him out!)

• No feet on the dog

• We wear clothes and shoes when we go outside.

Most rules are good. Most rules are sensible and designed to help in some way. We don't put our feet on the dog or he might bite us. We wear shoes and clothes outside so we don't freeze to death, don't cut our feet and don't freak out the neighbors. Rules created with thought and purpose are good.

In diagnostic medicine there are a lot of good commonsense Rules. If a person arrives into the ER complaining that their knees hurt, there is no point in giving them a chest x-ray.  You know, stuff like that.

Damn Rules, however are another story. Damn rules are arbitrary and seem to have little logic or purpose. Damn Rules are rampant in diagnostic medicine.

I remember when Grace was about 9 months old, I took her to the doctor.  She was vomiting with a fever. It was my second trip to the pediatrician's that week. I had been there a few days earlier with a feverish, vomiting Joe, who was about 2½ at the time. They had tested Joe for Strep, it was positive. Antibiotics. Done.

I figured it was only a matter of time before Grace got Strep too -those guys were complete germ factories. So as soon as she threw up, I took her to the pediatrician's office.

The Pediatrician walked in to see Grace.  "What's the problem?" he asked before he was through the door.

"She has a fever and she vomited. Her brother has strep, so I thou..." He interrupted me quite brusquely "It's not strep" he said in a very finite way.  He had barely looked at her, hadn't laid a hand on her. What is this? I thought to myself Psychic Medicine?
"How do you know?" I asked, agog.
"Babies under one don't get Strep." he said, dismissively.  "It's probably a virus"
"...But  ....but her brother has Strep and she has the exact same symptoms."
"It doesn't matter. Babies under one don't get strep"

He started to examine Grace, while I pondered this statement. Finally I asked a question that was bothering me.
"How does the strep know?"
He was confused: "What?"
"How does the streptococcus bacteria know how old she is?  How does it test her age (and why does it care)?"  How can it tell the difference between an 11 month old  baby and a 12 month old one?

He looked at me for a minute. spluttered, stopped, looked at the child then asked "what does she weigh?" I told him.  He muttered something very grudging about being big for her age and tested her for Strep. And what do you know? It was positive!  He acted AMAZED.  "But babies under one don't get Strep!"  I struggled not to shout at him.

And afterwards I thought and thought about this and I figured maybe that Damn Rule  was almost true 50 or 100 years ago, when kids were smaller and less well nourished, but not today.

When I took Grace for her follow-up to be sure the Strep was gone, I saw a different doc in the practice.  "Oh! She had strep? and she is  ...what?  ...9 months old?  Wow! I wouldn't even have tested her! Babies under one don't get Strep, you know...". I indicated Grace with a flourish of my hypermobile wrist: "Exhibit A" I said with heavy irony

I think she missed the irony.

You know, it's funny, I never read the paper about the stunning case of Grace-the-nine-month-old-baby-with-Strep in any of the on-line research I have done over the years. 

Sorry. That irony just keeps coming back.

There are many rules like that in medicine. Rules which rely on arbitrary formulas and measurements without looking at changes in the trends or other factors. -Damn Rules, as I like to call them.  In our example, Grace had a sibling with Strep (which is highly contagious) and had the exact same symptoms, but these factors  were completely ignored in favor of a Damn Rule with no real logic behind it. It wasn't until I went all Mr Spock on the guy and challenged the logic that she was tested (but I am sure many mothers would not have dared to challenge the doctor, which thought scares me). I still don't know how the Streptococcus bacteria knows the weight of the child, BTW  -or why it cares!

There are many examples of Damn Rules in medicine, and I have seen many people refused treatment -i.e. hurt because of these Damn Rules (hello Hippocratic Oath?). 

Some of the Damn Rules I have encountered recently:

• A brain herniation of <5mm is not a Chiari Malformation (regardless of symptoms)
• A Small syrinx does not cause symptoms (said to a blatantly symptomatic person with a small syrinx)
  And my personal favorite:
• He makes eye contact, so he cannot be on the Autistic Spectrum.

In addition to -and conjunction with- Damn Rules, Statistics is another diagnostic tool which has absolutely no bearing on symptoms or circumstance and yet, like Damn Rules, Statistics are often taken into account and indeed used to rule stuff out before symptoms or circumstance are considered.

How many times have I been told that I can't have an illness -say Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, because it is "rare"?  There seems to be some kind of blinders set up in the medical world, some unwritten Damn Rules that go along with Statistics. I think they read something like this:

• "Rare" is actually another word for "mythical" or "non-existent"
• Even if it exists, I, Dr. OfSickMother cannot possibly have a patient with a rare disease in my care because:

• Nothing interesting ever happens to me
• It is too scary a prospect for me to handle

The problems with this thinking -with using Statistics as a diagnostic tool at all; is that it becomes self-perpetuating. So-called "rare" disease and conditions remain undiagnosed or labeled psychosomatic because they are "rare". This causes the incidence rate for psychosomatic illness to rise in the Statistics because so many people with "rare" illnesses end up in that bin. With the rise of these (usually unqualified) psychological diagnoses in the statistics, the relative incidence of real "rare" diseases fall...  Rinse and repeat.

It's enough to make me sick. 

Oops. Too late!