Cold.

I remember Mrs. Fortune, my Biology teacher in High School. I remember her particularly, because she was a fuckin excellent teacher. She could engage you just as easily in cellular biology as in the life cycle of a liver fluke. I still remember the formula for respiration because of Mrs. Fortune: C6 H12 O6 +6O2 --> 6CO2 +6H2O+Energy. That's from memory, but I checked it and I am right.

I wish my Math teacher was as good as Mrs. Fortune. I might have "got" math if she were. But I always sucked at Math. My 9yo son corrects my mental arithmetic. He obviously takes after his Dad.  Or mine. But his Math gene is definitely not from me, that's for fuckin sure (I probably got mine from my mother).

I remember learning about heat and heat conduction with Mrs. Fortune. I learned about conductors and insulators. I remember a question on a test about cold: "Why do your hands get cold if you hold the handlebar of a bike which has been outside in winter? (or something like that). I wrote that cold could be conducted the same way as heat. That is the reason your hands felt cold was because cold is conducted into them from the handlebars. I was wrong, of course. The reason your hands get cold is because the heat gets conducted out of them, not into them. Natural mistake. ...I guiess,

I didn't get it t the time. ...And there are times that I still don't get it. But what does it matter? How it really matters to me now is very simple:

I get cold.

I don't mean turn-up-the-thermostat-and-put-on-a-cardigan kind of cold.

I mean the kind of cold that feel as if my femurs have been filled with Freon. It comes from deep in my thighs and can cause first degree burns without actually warming me up. I mean I can warm up a specialty heating pad in the microwave, place it on my thighs, and can sustain actual burns n my skin before I start to feel warm on the inside of my thighs. And even then, it is hit-or-miss.

There is little warming a freeze so deep. The cold comes from somewhere inside. I have found no way to combat it. It is greater than any blanket, duvet, heating pad or hot-water bottle.

Heck, it is even greater than George, my >17lb cat who can plant his furry self right on my lap and purr to his heart's content, yet he still leaves me freezing.

No doctor has explained this freeze. I guess they just put it on the pile -along with the hair loss, the meds reactions and the fits- of inexplicable phenomena.

To me, this Inexplicability is in itself inexplicable.

But I guess that's just me...

I wonder where I am going wrong?

Comments

[Caroline]

I am FREEZING cold all the time too. I have been for years. It is a big joke with my in laws as they have a freezing cold house. I always come for dinner in 5 layers with sock and slippers in hand.

I have mentioned this to several NL/NS too and tell all are unimpressed with this as a symptom. I think maybe it's because I am so hypotensive all the time. I have been as low as 78/50 at the docs office. Who knows maybe it's something else....hard to figure out when there's so many different factors to consider.