Why Start Now?

It's a good question. 

I have been trying to get my health and life back for seventeen months and three days. I should have started this record back when this nightmare first began. I would have had so much material by now! I could have regaled you all with stories of the ER visits, the hospitalizations, the tests, the drugs, the side effects, the various obscure specialists and varied wild, weird and wonderful patients I have met along the way. Because it has been a wild ride to date. By starting so late, I have missed the boat on a lot of the excitement. Most of my best stories are now in the past.

I am now close to a real diagnosis, a workable treatment and a means to reclaim my life and career. There will be very little to write about now that I am close to a diagnosis.

But I thought that 17 months and three days ago. That's why I didn't start this blog then. It's why I didn't start a year ago or six months ago. All this time I thought I was close to a diagnosis.  I thought the next specialist would have the answer. That the next round of tests would be the last round. I was eternally hopeful that an answer was just a few short weeks away.

...for seventeen months and three days.

I have given up on that hope now. Not that I have given up hope altogether. I have just given up hope that the next specialist will hold the answer. The next specialist will be doctor #23. I will see him next week. He will probably almost-but-not-quite find something, refer me to #24 and so we will go on...

It's a wonder I keep up.

You know, maybe now that I have decided #23 won't be able to help me, he probably will. But I had such high hopes for #22, "a rock star of electrophysiology" (I know), and after one disasterous test, one hospitalization and another very painful test, he was ultimately a huge disappointment.

So I have stopped hoping each time I see a new doctor. There isn't any point. I guess I am probably in this for the long haul. Because I have rare conditions, and unusual symptoms. Because my physiology is not quite "normal". Because doctors understand horses and I am a zebra.

Yep. I'm a zebra amongst horses. Maybe I should see a veterinarian. 

That's an idea...

I'll hold off on it until after  meet #23, which is next week. In the meantime, I remain...

One Sick Mother

Comments

[Robin]

Hi! Your blog looks great.

[prism]

From one Zebra to Another~

Today is a greaT day to starT!
It may have been too much to deal with in the thick of it before, in any case, I for one would be happy to hear all your 'back stories' and your future ones as well!

The medical world is (sigh) so lacking when it comes to us zebras, I don't doubt that a vet might have more common sense insights! We have specialists for each and every part of our body~
When hey, our bodies are a complex maze of systems that entertwine and affect EachotheR! in both subtle and profound ways!

I know it took me a good 20 years to get a proper diagnosis- and the jury's out on how long it will take to get treatment now....

but I will be here rooting for you, praying for you- (May #23 be the Big Surprise - !!!!!)

and having a great time despite all~ enjoying your ***wonderful friendship*** I have to thank- you for being ~yourself~
so unique,
~so zebraeeey~

Wishing you a rainbow,
zoe
www.CarePages.com (prismed)

[By His Grace]

I love your start here and look forward to so much more reading provided by your brilliant mind! I love your original thoughts and goodness, your blogname/user name? Purdy darn witty, I'd say!

God bless you, my friend, on your journey through this world where we aren't promised much yet we end up with profound blessings!

loveya galfriend