I am not supposed to "treat myself with food". That means I am not supposed to address my symptoms by changing my diet or eating patterns; not that I should not reward myself with food. But these days most food is more of a punishment than a reward for me, so treating myself with food becomes -by default, a medical term. And I am not supposed to do it. However, as my symptoms seem to be directly related to food and metabolism and no medications have actually helped; what choice do I have? In order to be marginally functional and not have fits 3-5 times per day, I must treat myself with (or without) food.
I figured out a long time ago that I feel OK in the morning
until I eat breakfast. After eating breakfast, I usually feel horrible.
So I might skip breakfast. There is a downside to this plan, however:
The longer I postpone breakfast, the more horrible I feel when I do
eventually eat. (and yes: I have tried every different kind of breakfast you could imagine)
But sometimes postponing breakfast is the only
way to get things done. Say if I need to drive anywhere, I will do it before
breakfast. Then I will eat after I get home. I know the consequence for
this will probably be a worse reaction than if I had eaten on time, but
at least I got whatever-it-was done and crossed off the list.
So if breakfast (most meals) is bad the next logical thing is not to eat at all, right? That doesn't work for me either. if I fast too long, I will suddenly get all the usual symptoms of an aura and will have a fit. I used to think it was due to low blood sugar, but I have tested my blood sugar levels prior to one of these fasting fits and it has been in the 90s, which is normal-high for me. Indeed, many times I have tested my sugar in the morning, found it low, fasted, felt an aura, tested again, and my sugar is higher.
Hmmm... I guess in these scenarios, my body released stored sugar, which somehow triggered the fit. Many, if not all of my fits seem to be related to blood sugar fluctuations. But simply eating a low glycemic diet does not seem to do the trick. There is something else -something related to protein, groupings, sequence of meals or quantity... Or something. I don't know what. I do know that some well tolerated foods can give me problems for no apparent reason. It appears to be related to what meal /when I ate before the trigger meal, if that makes sense. It makes it much harder to spot any pattens.
One pattern is time of day. Often, I feel better generally and have a less poor reaction to food in the evening and night.
So my latest plan -while not really a plan and probably not sustainable; -is to not eat at all, but to keep blood sugar up and avoid the big glucogen release. Right now sweetened coffee is working, although that is not the healthiest thing, I don't want to mess with a formula which is kinda-sorta working for now, as the kids are home fulltime for the next few weeks. It is not an ideal solution. I dont' eat at all before 5pm and get very grumpy, but I don't know what else to do.
And it is not a cure either, Taking all my vitamins is difficult because I have to take most of them with food. And today I had a big fit after my 6pm meal. It goes to show that a "treatment" -no matter how bizarre- is not a treatment at all when the underlying condition is unknown.
omg you sound just like me! i have hypoglycemic like symptoms but dont have hypoglycemia! ugh stupid bodies of ours :-)
Posted by: Courtney | August 16, 2008 at 02:35 AM