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March 17, 2009


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Quirky Mom

I like the way you handled it.

And if you don't have any tonic in the house, does that mean you had gin and gin? LOL.


I think you great job in handling it - also I like that there is no shame attached to it, and that came through when he said he wasn't judging you - that this is just part of who you (and he) are and that makes you different like everyone is different. Cool mom!

The Goldfish

Cool mom and cool kid! Glad it went so smoothly. :-)


What a great way to introduce what could have been a very scary subject! I agree with you that sharing the serious things with kids should come naturally, as situations and their curiosity warrant. Props to you and Joe!

One Sick Mother


I don't actually keep gin in the house either! I settled for water, but G&T make for a better story...


Thanks. for stopping by. Yes, It is a difficult thing to pitch, because I didn't want to make it seem like it was something awful or indeed to give him any excuses not to do things he is *able* to do, but at the same time, I needed to stress the importance.

The no-shame thing is very important to me. I used to get yelled at by my sisters for standing with my knees locked (i.e. hyperextended) because I "looked deformed". As it happens, they did me a huge favor, because I learned to stand with knees correctly aligned. But there are better ways to teach that lesson (not that they knew any better at the time. We were all children and none had heard of EDS)

Thanks :) so am I! (still kind of waiting for the other shoe on that...)

Thanks for the props!

Of course, the disadvantage of looking for the opening, is that you are never sure if you are fully prepared.

The 'set speech' thing allows for preparation, but then again, kids (especially mine) will usually ask questions for which you just can't prepare, so I chose the 'seat of the pants' method, which usually works for me, anyway. ;)


Lisa Moon

Well, I can see my intended comments have already been spoken...

Mainly, once again, I'm so genuinely impressed with your parenting skills. Your creative, thoughtful, honest and damned strength and determination in advocating for yourself and your children always amazes and inspires me. No, I'm not being sappy or cheesy intentionally, but I honestly am amazed by you!

I wish I'd known you when my son was younger, as I think so many of the things you've written about with your childrens' lives would have been so helpful to me (I think especially of the written explanation for hospitals, etc.).

Despite the fact that my Boy Child is now taller than me and is a whopping 17 years of age, I STILL find the insights I gain from reading your posts helpful!

And I agree: the best part is the no-shame rule. It was especially touching to read that young (Aspie!) Joe apologised for 'judging'. How sweet! And really, despite that my son's only half-assed Dx was ADHD, I see so many overlaps; my son is VERY sensitive generally - too much so perhaps? - and yet sometimes those social cues (fitting into high school took some adjustment - you can't be too eager to make friends, or you're not COOL!).

Anyway, I was sort of getting at that it IS a spectrum and that things are well-learned, as stated by two likely-Aspie adults I know (they both know they are but were never Dx as such); they say they've LEARNED what is expected, how to act in social situations and so on. And, despite my best friend's (he's one of those Aspies) sometimes lack of tact in certain situations (hard to explain) he's also INCREDIBLY tactful and sensitive - while also not being sensitive! It's quite something you would need to experience.

If we ever head in your direction, I'd love to come meet you - and bring my son and best friend, too! :) ;)

PS Here's a virtual gin & tonic for you - it's a "double", too! ;)


Like everyone said, you are a wonderful parent and handled this perfectly. I am looking for that moment to explain ASD to the Prince. I think it will be coming soon. I need to be on watch more for those teachable moments.

Enjoy that virtual gin and tonic!

zoe ashcraft

Ah Paula,

How I wish I were as wise as you~ good job my friend* Mothering- is at both times, the greatest gift and the greatest heartache, no matter how you slice it.
My son told me yesterday (13) he was my parent- HA! - probably because he's had to take care of me so much. And both my daughters are so sick of my being sick that they definitely do not want to hear about anything- partly yes, for fear that they may one day end up like me.
If they would listen, I would tell them- the counsel of wisdom borne of suffering- the way to bear a label such as EDS without it ruining your ability to function. (as best as can be done")

But everything has it's time and it's season~
and God knows that*
dancing in the rain

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