Joe came to find me: "Mom, there 's a strange animal on the tree. I think you need to look at it." We looked at the tree -which is too close to the house- out of the downstairs window, but the animal was not in evidence. So we went to Joe's room directly above.
I couldn't see anything. Eventually, he directed my eyes to it with very detailed directions: "Look on the right side. See the bottom branch? Look down from that. There is a bump and then the animal is below the bump".
I realized that he was looking at a piece of discolored bark. "Joe. You need to go and get your glasses, then look at this again".
"No, Mom. I'll go outside and point it out to you."
"No. It is too high. It will be easier if you get your glasses".
"I'll climb on the fence and point to it".
"No. That's dangerous..."
So after some arguing and complaining, he got his glasses and looked again. The "animal" immediately resolved into a piece of discoloured bark.
"Oh. It's a piece of bark!" And he got very angry.
"I wish everyone in this house had my eyesight!"
Being the only person in the house with good eyesight, this stung me probably more than it should have. I was hurt. And knowing I was walking away from a large teaching opportunity about sight, vision, perspective or something; instead I left the room without another word.
You can't teach angry. And you can't be impervious to everything they might say. Not all of the time, anyway.
I'm only human.
Maybe the opportunity will present itself again another time, when I am better equipped to take advantage of it.
I'm not so sure that you missed this teachable moment. Joe has learned (probably) that closer investigation demands that he make use of all his tools, which include both other people who (quite literally this time) may see things differently and mechanical instruments that allow him greater precision. I think walking away without saying things was the right thing to do, even if it stung. Maybe especially. He is a smart boy. He will figure out the lesson for himself.
Posted by: yanub | August 03, 2009 at 03:11 AM
I agree with Yanub on this one, OSM. Sometimes, the most valuable lessons are the ones we teach ourselves. They may take us a while to learn, but once we "get" them, they tend to really stick.
Posted by: Carleen | August 04, 2009 at 01:10 PM
I would tend to concur with the insightful comments above. You're always on top of those teachable moments (which I've often admired and hope I always comment on!) and, as you smartly note, "You can't teach angry."
It can be very frustrating to need 'aids', whether it be a cane, a scooter or even eyeglasses. And we all have a right to feel that frustration and, eventually, learn and move on from it.
Ugh, I hope that made sense because the words are not coming out the way my head is thinking today. Sheesh.
Posted by: Lisa Moon | August 05, 2009 at 04:44 PM